April 2, 2017: Lobster

What’s your favorite food? If you were to put together a totally honest top ten food list without any reservation or hesitation, without shame, without health concerns, without worries what anyone looking at your list might say or think about you, what would it include? What food item might you drive way out of your way to get if the opportunity presented itself?

I love lobster so much that if I found myself on death row and was being offered my last meal, it would probably be a super-sized Bombay Sapphire martini on the rocks with four olives, two pound and a half lobsters (with drawn butter mixed with some freshly squeezed lime juice) and a Heath Crunch Klondike bar (what the heck, make it two) for dessert. That would be a nice way to leave this life, I think, if it was indeed time to go.

Last summer, Suzanne and I designed our vacation around lobster. Our goal was, in almost a week, to eat so many lobsters that we could finally say that we’d had enough. Of course we went to Maine. Our cove-front cottage was within a few miles in either direction of two different lobster pounds. We went to each of them twice, plus four or five different restaurants for whole lobsters, lobster rolls, lobster bisque, lobster sliders and lobster omelets. Strangely, after an entire week of this over-the-top lobster orgy, I can’t say that I got home feeling like I didn’t want to ever see a lobster again.

However, we found something that almost accomplished this. For Valentine’s Day this year, Suzanne took me to a local restaurant that has a weekly three lobster dinner for an insanely low price. Just three lobsters, nothing else. We went, we ate lobsters, we left saying, “I think that’s enough!” For the first time ever, after eating my three crustaceans, Suzanne offered me her last tail. I couldn’t eat it. Even after a second Bloody Mary. Lobster satiation had been achieved but now that a little time has passed, I’m thinking about going back. Maybe on Wednesday, though, when it’s only a two lobster special.